You would have to be living under a rock or here to miss the Mother’s Day Time Magazine cover asking, “Are You Mom Enough?” The backlash of that article is presenting itself as a number of well thought out articles by intelligent, educated, anti-Mommy Wars writers. I’ll save my commentary on the Mommy Wars for another time, but I want to share an article that was posted by a Facebook friend of mine that really made me think about motherhood in an entirely new way.
In the article, author Kristen Howerton calls out the absolute nonsense of the Mommy Wars and focuses on child welfare, foster care and adoption.
“I don’t much care if you breastfed your kid until they started kindergarten or if you fed them formula from day one. I don’t really care if you turned your infant car seat forward-facing prior to age 2, or if you homeschool, or if you send your kids to daycare while you go to work. Do you cosleep? Did you circumcise your son? I DON’T CARE. Do you “babywear”? Push your kid around in a stroller? Use a leash for your kid at Disneyland? Whatever. Good for you.
When it comes to issues of motherhood, there is one issue I care about: some kids don’t have one. All of these petty wars about the choices of capable, loving mothers is just a lot of white noise to me, Quite honestly, I’m often astonished at the non-essential parenting issues I see moms getting upset about. Particularly when there are so many kids in this world not being parented at all.”
So wow. That hit me like a rock in the gut. Because wow and whoa and ouch and ohmygodtherearekidsinhorriblesituations.
My husband and I had only discussed adoption once or twice before getting pregnant, but only in the context of having that option if we were not able to conceive. This article planted a seed in me where I started thinking in a completely different context. More like “I am so absurdly blessed and we are exactly the type of people who could provide for an adopted child.” More like “I had no idea there are so many children who need homes in our country.” And finally, “Holy Crap our foster system is THAT screwed up!”
I still don’t know if adoption is something we will choose in the future. There is so much more I need to learn and so many things my husband and I must discuss. All I can say is that after reading that article my thoughts on adoption have changed dramatically.
I would love to hear from anyone who has adopted or is adopted.