3 Hours

I realized this week that I spend about 3 hours a day with my son during the work week.

It’s breaking my heart.

How do other moms do this?

We have our schedule down and I know that many say it’s quality over quantity, but 3 hours? Really?

Every morning I’m torn as I drop him off at the babysitter. I love our babysitter and I know he’s well cared for. He has little buddies and he’s developing at a crazy rate since he has a full posse of boys to watch and dote on him all day. It’s just so hard to feel like I’m missing so much of his life. It’s so hard when he watches me walk out the door.

Picking him up in the evening is the highlight of my day. I look forward to it all day.

I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a full time stay at home mom, but I don’t know if I’m cut out to juggle all of this either. I don’t know how people do this. How do you handle the mommy guilt? Does it get better? Easier? Worse? Harder?

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4 thoughts on “3 Hours

  1. I especially appreciate your post today because I am suffering from intense mommy guilt. I don’t know how I “deal” other than feeling guilty the entire time and making sure spend the weekend or nights ONLY hanging out with my girl. It’s a tough balance.

    • thedurttybride says:

      Is it bad that it makes me feel better that you feel guilty too? A good friend of mine said the other day, “You have to make time for yourself.” And I laughed in her face. I can hardly make time for my child, let alone time for me. I wonder if these feelings ever change or if this is part of parenthood?

  2. rebellin says:

    I feel your pain. You kind of get used to it… I’m like you — I wish I could find a happy balance of work and motherhood. I wish I could only work part-time, but that isn’t really in the cards for me right now. What makes me feel better is consciously focusing on the kids when I’m with them. We don’t watch TV when the kids are awake, and I try to stay off of the computer/smart phone. I give them my whole attention (when I’m not cooking for them, as I’m rather obsessive about providing fresh, healthy food for them). But the reality is that often, by the end of the day, I’m just tired, and I find that I sometimes just want to sit on the couch for a few minutes of alone time, and I’m also crankier than I’d like some days.

    You do your best. It becomes more of a dull ache, but that really goes away when you’re spending quality time with them. Hang in there.

    • thedurttybride says:

      Thanks Lynette – I’m trying to do the same thing. Really focus on being a mom when I’m at home, but I also have days where I just want to curl up on the couch and finish my book. People have told me that as they get more independent it gets easier. I just can’t stop thinking about what I’m missing now and how he’ll only be this small for so long.

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