I think every woman who desires children (or who has had to endure a screaming child on a cross country flight) have thoughts about what they will and won’t do as a mother.
On my motherhood wish list are the following:
- Have a natural, drug free delivery
- Make my own baby food
- Raise an independent, problem-solving, responsible, empathetic child
- Raise a man of integrity
- Read to my child as much as my mom read to me
To some this list may sound crazy. To the experienced mothers out there, you may be thinking: “She has no idea what she is about to get into.”
And the truth is I don’t.
My point is that every mother has ideas of the what is the right/wrong way to raise a child. And for some reason, we hold each other to the standards that we deem correct. It’s messed up on many levels. It’s a no-win situation.
Even though our little guy hasn’t arrived yet I’ve still dealt with the Mommy Standard questions.
Are you going to breastfeed?
How long will you be staying home?
Will the baby be sleeping with you or in a crib?
Will you be scheduling a c-section?
The answers (in no particular order) (this is fun – you can match the answer to what you think I would say. It’s like the SATs!):
I’m going to give it my best shot.
I have no idea.
A few weeks ago a few of my mommy friends and my boss sent me this Wall Street Journal article:
Jong sums it up perfectly with this one sentiment about motherhood: Do the best you can. There are no rules.
We all have to do the best we can with what works for us as a mother, as a wife or partner. Will everything on my Mommy Wish List come true? Probably not. Will I sometimes feel disappointment? Yes. It’s part of life.