I was so tired. So, so tired. That’s what I remember about the first weeks of the second trimester. I wasn’t showing yet and hadn’t gained any weight, but I was wearing maternity clothes.
It was about this time that we were hosting a BBQ to celebrate our wedding with the family and friends that couldn’t make it to St. Croix. My parents came into town and we planned on telling them that weekend.
I was so nervous to tell my old fashioned, traditional Catholic parents. My dad’s an engineer. He’s quick with the math. I wrapped up a framed picture of our 10 week ultrasound and we gave it to them as a present. This was a really weak way of telling them, but at the time I didn’t feel like the actual words could come out of my mouth.
My dad unwrapped it. He turned it one way and then the other. My mom looked at it. My dad said, “What is this?” My mom jumped up and embraced Travis and I. My dad still stood off to the side. His face was awash with a look of shock. “Wait for it,” I thought. “Here comes the lecture.” My mom asked how far along are we and then exclaimed how she’s always wanted to be a grandmother. My dad stands off to the side, still silent, but is that a slight tear in his eye? I start to ramble into how Travis and I didn’t know if this would be possible and how happy we are. I start to tear up. Travis pulls me into his side. In this moment I feel like whatever lecture is coming, I can handle it, because I have this amazing man by my side.
My mom asks my dad what’s up. He says, “Well, I’m just so worried about you.” Ahh-I see. He’s launched into Papa Bear mode. He starts asking questions about our doctor. Is she the best in town? Is my thyroid being watched? How am I feeling? Am I lifting anything heavy?
By this point, I start to understand what’s going through his head. We are at the 15 week mark. We’ve made it through those first 12 weeks. Travis and I can now breathe a sigh of relief. For my black and white, fact-based, glass-half-empty- father he’s still processing. Still preparing for the worst.
For the rest of the weekend my parents are ecstatic – making plans to buy ponies and other completely rational baby related purchases.
We call Travis’s mom at the end of the weekend to let her know. She shrieks. She’s so excited and it’s fun to hear that.
I started my new job this week and it was weird to be going public with the news while still having to keep it a secret from my new coworkers. More on that later though.
We tell my brother. Trav’s sisters. My grandma. His grandma. My grandpa. We make the phone calls to our closest friends. And then it’s time for the Facebook announcement. I was torn about this. I knew it wouldn’t take long before a family member or friend slipped up and mentioned something on the public clearinghouse that is Facebook. I loved keeping this a secret and part of me is scared to go public. Plus, making an anoounement like this on Facebook just seems so lame. Is there any way to announce such a sacred thing that really does it justice? We make the public Facebook announcement on Labor Day. Isn’t that ironic?
Weeks 17 -19
Enter hormones. I was so pissed during this time. I broke down sobbing on no less than three occasions. Despite the world knowing that we were expecting, I suddenly felt very alone. I felt mad at and resentful towards Travis. Like I was the one making all the adjustments to this new body while trying to maintain the same life that I had before getting pregnant. I was so tired. So ridiculously tired.
I had to go on a business trip to Las Vegas. The upside – I had a lot of extra time to sleep. The downside – my coworkers were enjoying all the free trade show booze while I had no good explanation for not drinking. That whole pregnancy thing? Still a secret from the coworkers. (Example: “Are you Mormon?” “Uh, no. Just not drinking right now.”)
I’m dealing with stomach issues. They suck. My All Bran intake increases monumentally.
At Week 19 I start telling my coworkers. My boss already knew, but letting everyone else know was a big relief. And I like I suspected, some of the folks on the Vegas trip already had figured it out.
The bump is coming in. I can’t really hide it anymore. This is the week that we find out the baby’s sex. We’re so excited to find out that it’s a boy! I start to feel better. Finding out the sex makes everything more real. I can start envisioning him. I start planning for the nursery and can now look at baby clothes without wondering which type are OK to buy. Because, duh, baby boys should only wear blue.
The hormones start to settle. Now that we know the sex I feel like I can focus and bond with our baby. Now he’s my son and not just the baby. We start bouncing name ideas around. We’re 90% sure we’ve settled on the name, but I want to wait until we see his sweet little face before making the final decision. As we hit the six month mark I’m feeling good and what’s making this time even more special is the fact that we can now see the little guy moving. He pounds and kicks on me all day long. When he’s feeling especially spunky he gives his dad a quick kick to the hand. When he’s feeling spectacularly spunky he likes to give the cat curled up on my lap a few quick Ninja kicks. Just to make sure the cat knows who is in charge.
Enter insatiable hunger. I could eat all day long during this time and never feel full. This kid likes to eat!
I’m getting bigger by the second. Coworkers now announce, “Look at you! You’re really pregnant!” As if I was making this up before. Well, the proof’s in the pudding, baby! There’s definitely a kid in there. I feel good and I’m reading everything I can get my hands on about natural birth. We’re taking our weekly hypnobirthing classes and I’m feeling more and more excited that soon we will meet our baby, hold him, feed him and hear his cries.
The first trimester seemed so long and the second seems to have gone by so fast. I can hardly believe that we are almost at the end/almost at the beginning!