Monthly Archives: September 2010

Suspense

Today we find out if we’re having a girl or a boy. The suspense of this is killing me – so much hinges on knowing who this little person is. Will we have a little boy that Travis will wrestle with the same way he wrestles with the dogs? Or will we have a little girl who will be a spitfire like the little girl I’ve befriended next door? Will I get to ewww and ahhh over little baby dresses for the next 4 months or find fashionable little boy clothes that the little guy will certainly only approve of until he can speak.

Even thinking ahead like this I think about the challenges with raising either gender. And there are challenges. I don’t believe that any gender is easier than the other.

Raising a girl I worry about instilling confidence, self-esteem, having a mother-daughter relationship that is the right mix of friend/role model/enforcer.

Raising a boy I worry about the pressures of his peers. I worry about raising a man that is good and honest. A man who will do the right thing.

Of course, I will update once we know! I’ve got a big fat glass of orange juice waiting for me – the ladies in my office said it would get the baby moving for the ultrasound!

Maternity Clothes: An Expose Part I

Like almost everything involving pregnancy, I knew absolutely nothing about maternity clothes. When my pants started to get uncomfortable (like I could still wear them if I didn’t mind feeling like my body was being cut in half) I decided to buy a few things to stretch my wardrobe. This happened around 15 weeks. At the exact moment that I was starting a new job. And had nothing to wear.

First stop – Target.

Target has an OK selection. I purchased a pair of pants and two shirts that looked maternity, but not maternity. Meaning I could still pull off wearing them without looking totally, obviously pregnant since at this point we were still keeping our secret. I opted for a pair of full panel black pants. Because a) black is slimming and as a pregnant woman hiding that she is not a pregnant woman this was key – what stomach? b) I didn’t know this at the time, but full panel is the only way to go. Without the full panel you spend all day pulling up your pants.

Things I did not like about Target’s Maternity Section:

1. Some of the clothing had bows on it. I hate bows, but I especially hate bows when they are put on maternity clothes to make you look “cute.” Bows are for little girls and show dogs.

2. The marketing photos in this department show pregnant women at nightclubs. Call me a prude, but what pregnant woman feels like throwing on a cocktail dress and dancing the night away while surrounded by more pregnant woman? All whilst surrounded by other people who can DRINK. Not cool Target. So not cool.

The absolute highlight of my day is getting home and putting on a worn out pair of Old Navy yoga pants that have not seen a whole lot of, if any, yoga. On second thought, no one wants to see that while shopping. Keep dancing away girls!

Target Maternity Clothes

Ok, so their online ads are a lot more appropriate. And kind of cute.

Next stop was Old Navy.

Here in Reno there is only one Old Navy store that sells maternity clothes and these are tucked away at the back of the store near the kiddie clothes (note to the Reno crowd – it’s the Summit Store, shout out Alexia, you win!). The selection is grim with mostly discounted t-shirts and pants. There are a few seasonal items like sweaters, but if you’re a sucker for cheap then hit oldnavy.com. The maternity selection is large and I loved the stylized outfits that their savvy marketing folks put together. I even bought a few of the complete outfits. From their website I purchased a few sweaters, tops, leggings, and a jean skirt.

What I don’t like about Old Navy maternity clothes:

  • Because I had to purchase the clothes online I couldn’t try them on. Old Navy sizes are big to begin with, but it’s like they’ve doubled the maternity sizes. These clothes are freaking huge! I’m told that I will be surprised at the end how well they will fit, but right now in the in-between stage of just starting to show, I look more like a person who doesn’t know how to purchase clothing.

Hand Me Down/Gifts

OMG hand me downs are a true life saver. Thanks to my good friend Annie I have a good selection of work appropriate shirts and pants that have truly helped me out. And a big thanks to my mom who was on a mission to stock my closet with work appropriate mommy clothing. She went to a Motherhood Maternity outlet store and bought me enough sweaters and pants to make my transition into a new job that much easier. She even tried on the baby bump they provided to make sure the clothes would fit. Heck yeah she did!

What I don’t like about Hand Me Downs and Gifts:

  • Are you freaking kidding me? These are awesome!

I’m told that Motherhood Maternity and Kohls have great cute maternity clothes that don’t make you feel like a whale so in “Maternity Clothes: An Expose Part II,” I will be heading to these fine establishments.

Mommy friends – where’s your favorite place to find maternity clothes that don’t include bows? And do you, in fact, dance the night away whilst wearing a maternity cocktail dress?

The New Dessert

Sexy. Damn Sexy.

I’ve been really lucky in that I’ve felt decent for most of my pregnancy. I had only 3 weeks of morning sickness. The fatigue was overwhelming, but after dealing with Hashimotos it wasn’t something that I was unfamiliar with.

Then, in my 19th week I felt as if my intestines were trying to beat their way out of my body. Yes, beat their way. With sticks and stones and other such heinous things.

Like most pregnant women I immediately hit BabyCenter.com.

My self diagnosis and treatment included fiber, more fiber with a side of fiber. Oh and plenty of water to wash all that fiber down.

TMI? Oops!

So the other night while my handsome husband worked on his sympathy weight with a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream, I poured myself a big old bowl of tasty, sexy All Bran. Oh yeah, you know this pregnancy stuff is romantic right? Like super romantic.

Example: Having a conversation as newlyweds about FiberSure vs. Metamucil. Oh baby! That’s hot.

So hot it melts your Popsicle…

But really, if anyone else out there has even been in this predicament I would like to know how you dealt with it. Feel free to leave an anonymous comment and let me know what helped your intestines fall in love with you again. Or leave me a funny story about what your romantic pregnant moments looked/sounded like. I hope your memories includes fiber rich cereal.

And then there were three

I’ve been absent from the blogging world. I found it hard to write about wedding related madness since I was hiding a rather big secret. And that secret was really all I wanted to write about. Wedding-shmedding…

10 weeks

Here’s a glimpse into what has happened over the last few months. Even though I wasn’t blogging publicly I was keeping up a journal of sorts on this here Durtty Bride.

I hope to get back in the game more often since this latest life surprise has left me with new material that blows all this wedding shiz out of the water. OUT OF THE EFFING WATER Y’ALL.

Written on June 7, 2010

Yesterday I found out that I am pregnant. Even as I write that sentence I’m blown away by the reality of it. I’m pregnant. With child. Going to be a mother. Going to have a family.

In the instant that faint second line showed up on the pregnancy test my entire life changed. I don’t know how to explain it other than I couldn’t believe how quickly everything was just, different.

The first question on your mind is probably – Did you plan this?

My answer – No, but yes, but not really, but kind of.

In February I started seeing a natural family planning specialist. I decided that it was time to look into other types of birth control since I had been on hormonal birth control off and on since I was 15. The only rationale I can give you is that I felt like I needed to know who I was without being manipulated by pharmaceuticals. It wasn’t a decision that I took lightly and T and I discussed it on many, many occasions before we finally took the plunge. And I did feel different…more like me.  Like my emotions were less muted. The other huge factor was that we wanted to start a family soon after getting married. These eggs of mine weren’t getting any younger, you know? So I wanted all those ugly hormones out of my body before we attempted.

After a few months of charting and seeing the counselor, she suspected that I might have Endometriosis and thought that I would need to have surgery before conceiving was possible. I believed her since in the four or five months that I had been charting I had no signs of ovulating. None. Zippo. TMI? You’re here by CHOICE remember? Oh – sorry – raging pregnancy hormones can make me kind of short.

When you’re 27 and someone tells you that it might be hard for you to have a baby you can’t help but feel disappointed. I’ve gotten tired of dealing with medical issues and this became just another problem to add to the pile.  After I got that news, Travis and I went through a phase of thinking we would try immediately on the honeymoon, then went through a phase where we thought it was best to wait a while longer.

I kept paying attention to the signs I was taught by the natural family planner, but still nothing. I saw my regular OB GYN and she had a differing opinion – didn’t think I had Endometriosis, didn’t’ think I would have any trouble. Reassuring, but confusing at the same time. Who was I supposed to believe?

The funny thing is that we actually started being more careful after I had this appointment. Except, I guess we weren’t.

Pregnant before our wedding was not what I had dreamed of, but suddenly the idea that this was one of the biggest blessings I have ever received hit home. After thinking that I would face surgery, possible infertility and months/years of trying,  to have this dropped in my lap is truly remarkable. And it wasn’t just the medical side that was freaking me out. It was the how will we pay for college, how will I take maternity leave, how will Travis go to school, OM-are-you-kidding-me-God daycare is expensive that was freaking me out.

Sometimes in life decisions are made for us and it looks like this is one of those times.

So here I am 4 weeks out from our wedding and I’m growing a human. It baffles me. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I was instantly full of rainbows and unicorns. Instead, my emotions were mixed. I felt a certain sense of shame for being pregnant before the wedding. Although I never felt any sort of shame for doing what we did to get pregnant before the wedding. Damn Catholic guilt! How do you shake it?

I felt like nothing would ever be the same. I felt like this blessing that I wasn’t sure was possible had been handed to me. I felt like it was fate.

Now this whole wedding seems a lot less important. Rather, protecting it this baby that is the size of a poppy seed seems a lot more important.

September 20, 2010

So today I find myself carrying a mango sized baby in my growing, aching womb. In a week we will find out what flavor of munchkin is coming our way.

I have to say that after planning our wedding for 18 months I couldn’t be happier with how that day turned out. It truly was one of the best days of my life. To be surrounded by your family and friends. To see their beaming faces as you walk down the aisle is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced. To say my vows and hear Travis say his was truly remarkable. And to wear that dress! Oh to wear that dress! There’s nothing like it.

But, as you may have guessed, this blog content is changing. I’m not going to promise to write one way or the other, but you’re going to get little slivers of my journey here. From fiancee to wife to mother. Career girl to working mother. Oh and I nest now. Boy, do I nest.