This is post number one in the High Fidelity series. We are starting at the beginning folks…
In sixth grade Brian A. (I’ve decided against giving full names) asked me if I would “go out” with him. In sixth grade this meant holding hands and sitting next to each other at lunch in the cafeteria and at recess. I think we “went out” for three or four months. It felt like I was playing grown up. He would call my house. We would have long bouts of silence on the phone. We met each other at the Spring Creek marina a few times.
Finally, on our last day of sixth grade he asked me to meet him behind the sixth grade trailers.
He said, “All my friends say I should kiss you.”
I said, “Huh.”
Then we held hands and there was no kissing. The End.
I don’t remember how we stopped “going out” or any other details, but I do remember that it was the first time that I felt really pretty. I had suffered from really bad acne, was taller and had matured faster than all the other girls, and when Brian asked me out it was like a whole new universe opened up. All the insecurity of having horrible skin and being taller than everyone (even some teachers!) went away.
I know that it probably wasn’t healthy to tie my self esteem to a guy, but it really did help.
Thank you Brian for making my sixth grade year a lot less painful.
We are Facebook friends and I think he has a baby now.
What I learned: That I was pretty. That even though I was different, it didn’t matter. That I could tell a boy that I didn’t want to kiss him.
Why it ended: Probably because we were 12 and summer break was starting. Just a guess…