Monthly Archives: February 2010

High Fidelity Series – Going Out

This is post number one in the High Fidelity series. We are starting at the beginning folks…

In sixth grade Brian A. (I’ve decided against giving full names) asked me if I would “go out” with him. In sixth grade this meant holding hands and sitting next to each other at lunch in the cafeteria and at recess. I think we “went out” for three or four months. It felt like I was playing grown up. He would call my house. We would have long bouts of silence on the phone. We met each other at the Spring Creek marina a few times.

Finally, on our last day of sixth grade he asked me to meet him behind the sixth grade trailers.

He said, “All my friends say I should kiss you.”

I said, “Huh.”

Then we held hands and there was no kissing. The End.

I don’t remember how we stopped “going out” or any other details, but I do remember that it was the first time that I felt really pretty. I had suffered from really bad acne, was taller and had matured faster than all the other girls, and when Brian asked me out it was like a whole new universe opened up. All the insecurity of having horrible skin and being  taller than everyone (even some teachers!) went away.

I know that it probably wasn’t healthy to tie my self esteem to a guy, but it really did help.

Thank you Brian for making my sixth grade year a lot less painful.

We are Facebook friends and I think he has a baby now.

What I learned: That I was pretty. That even though I was different, it didn’t matter. That I could tell a boy that I didn’t want to kiss him.

Why it ended: Probably because we were 12 and summer break was starting. Just a guess…

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The High Fidelity Series

My friend Lynette did a High Fidelity series on her blog. I found it in her archives (because I’m snoopy and like reading about her wedding planning). I love the idea of documenting the relationships that brought me to Travis.

My High Fidelity Series

So here’s a little synopsis of High Fidelity (from IMDB):

“High Fidelity follows the ‘mid-life’ crisis of Rob, a thirty-something record-store owner who must face the undeniable facts – he’s growing up. In a hilarious homage to the music scene, Rob and the wacky, offbeat clerks that inhabit his store expound on the intricacies of life and song all the while trying to succeed in their adult relationships. Are they listening to pop music because they are miserable? Or are they miserable because they listen to pop music? This romantic comedy provides a whimsical glimpse into the male view of the affairs of the heart.

Rob gets ditched (yet again) by his current femalething. This catalysts a sordid self examinatory process about all his failed relationships. It’s centred around his record shop, and coloured by his two motley socially inadequate assistants. 

Arrested development confronts 30-something Rob Gordon when Laura, his smart and successful lover, leaves him because he hasn’t changed since they met. He reviews his top five worst breakups (he constantly makes top five lists, though usually about music). He recalls each breakup, reconnects with these former loves to find out why they dumped him, and wallows in misery from losing Laura. Much of it plays out at his vinyl record store where he and two clerks, socially-inept savants, live and breathe obscure contemporary music. Rob makes fruitless attempts to win Laura back, indulges in new relationships laced with fantasy, and tries introspection. What will Laura do?”

The past year of being engaged has given me a lot of time to reflect on past relationships and what brought me to a place where I was ready to be committed. Everyone will tell you that being in a relationship requires work, but what they don’t say is how you are constantly working on yourself. It takes a lot of reflection and looking inward to give yourself completely to another person.

So on that note, I’m starting my own High Fidelity series, but I won’t be contacting ex-boyfriends to discuss how and why things went south. I am firmly on the side of the fence that does not believe in being friends after a break up. It’s like my girl Oprah says, “It’s called a break up because it’s broken.”

There are certain exemptions, which you will see in my posts. Pretty much anyone who came before the age of 16 is exempt from the
no friends clause.

Here goes…

A Note About Family

The first time I went wedding dress shopping my friend Annie said two things that really stuck with me 1) Life is not like the movies and 2) No one will be as excited about your engagement as you are.

When Travis and I got engaged my family’s reaction wasn’t what I had expected. Actually, it was downright disappointing.

It went something like this:

woman tearing hair out

Me during most of the wedding planning process

When I called my parents to tell them that Travis had proposed, my dad said, “Are you going to have a prenup?”

Uhh, yeah, that was the first thing that my dad said to me after I announced that I was going to spend the rest of my life with the wonderful man that is Travis. And for the record, no pre-nup. I’ll blog about that at a later date.

My brother said, “Did he get you a ring?”

By the time I talked to my mom I was sitting in a Popeyes in Auburn, CA. She wanted to know if he had gotten me a ring too. First question at our engagement party, “Is your ring bigger than mine?” Well, geez Joan Crawford, this plot seems an awful lot like Mommy Dearest.

The thing about getting engaged is that you expect your family to act like it’s the best thing ever. Because to you it is. You expect your mother to fawn over dresses and reception ideas. You expect that they will feel your joy and help you celebrate. You think that your fiance will be accepted as a part of the family immediately.

Don’t get me wrong – Travis’s family, my girlfriends and plenty of other people were overjoyed. There was crying, shrieking, sheer excitement and joy.

It was when we started planning the wedding that we ran into issues. My mother was dead set against a destination wedding. Dead set. To the point where she tried to give Travis and I a lump sum if we wouldn’t have a wedding. Sooooo…that was an awesome conversation.

It seems with my family that every decision has to be a major family drama.

Setting a wedding date? Changed that five times.

Having a destination wedding? Two months of discussions, emotional phone calls and emails,  Excel spreadsheets, testimonials from wedding planners, and an attempt from my mom to compromise by having a destination wedding  in Alaska. I’m being completely serious right now. ALASKA, for Christ sakes. Because she had never been there…

Reception? Dad wanted a pig roast. Mom wanted a slide show. We wanted neither.

Guest list? We had pictured it small and intimate. Mom pictured it as the biggest family reunion ever. Guest list tripled within one month.

Invitations? Parents thought they cost too much even though they came in $300 under the original budget.

Budget? A year into the wedding planning my Dad suggests that we elope and cancel all travel plans. Awesome!

I’m not trying to sound ungrateful here. I love my parents and am thankful for the monetary help they are giving us with the wedding. I’m also thankful that there are so many people in the world who love us and want to celebrate this event.

I guess I’m just hoping to share an important lesson about wedding planning for the brides-to-be out there. Don’t compare yourself to other families. Have realistic expectations about your parents and how they will handle your wedding. Getting married is a right of passage and sometimes you forget that you are not the only one going through it.

Don’t let the joy of this sacred event be taken away by petty family drama. Try and stay above it. Consider eloping.

Hey, maybe consider Alaska? I hear the weather’s manageable in August.

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In Sickness and In Health

Because nothing screams “SENSITIVE” like posting about your fiance’s trip to the ER:

Love is...sitting in the ER with your fiance

Travis had some funky vision stuff going on this morning so we made a trip to the ER to find out what was up. He looks sick, huh? I kept trying to convince him that we could get a few good episodes of Judge Judy or Regis and Kelly in, but he wasn’t buying it.

Luckily, I have an awesome boss and a job that I can do from just about anywhere, which meant that I had laptop and iPhone on hand to help me keep up my super productivity/escape from going completely insane while waiting 8 hours in the ER.

Even luckier, it looks like Trav-Man is going to be A-OK. His MRI came back all clear, but we’ll keep an eye (excuse the pun) out to make sure that he doesn’t have the same symptoms again.

Sugar+Carbs=metabolic ecstasy. Really.

Is it strange that choosing our wedding cake may be my favorite wedding task so far?

We had a long list of cake and icing flavors to choose from. I was thinking of choosing something tropical and alcoholic (hello, rum cake), but then I had a revelation – coconut cake. Wait, it gets better.

Coconut cake with chocolate frosting. Oh wait, it gets even better.

Chocolate Ganache frosting. Wait – one more.

Chocolate ganache on the outside, chocolate buttercream on the inside.

Lets take a moment to let it sink in.

You like?

Yeah. Me too.

Here’s some shots of chocolate wedding cakes:

Cute, right?

Kind of has a Phantom of the Opera thing going

That looks creamy (I mean dreamy)

C'est Mangnifique

FYI – TheKnot has a great wedding cake gallery. Your welcome.

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