When Travis and I got engaged, I had expected that the news would be perceived as good from our family and friends. And, for the most part, it has been. Reactions ranged from tears of joy to yelps of excitement, but there have been a few reactions that I had not expected.
Negative comments have included:
- “Marriage is a lot of work. I wouldn’t do it again.”
- “My only advice to you is, don’t get married.”
- Then there was the bevy of ball and chain comments (really, that never gets old?)
So while these aren’t exactly the warm and fuzzy responses that set a girl’s heart a flutter, I understand that everyone has had a different experience with marriage. Whether they were a child of divorce, have suffered through infidelity or a loveless marriage, or have divorced themselves, everyone has a right to have an opinion about marriage.
However, and this is a big HOWEVER, I do not believe that anyone has the right to rain on my parade. I’m in love people and while I haven’t spent 50 years with the same man, in sickness or poverty, I have the right to say to you, “My marriage is not your marriage. My life is not your life. Your experience will not be my experience.”
I love when people say, “Marriage is work.” Duh. Anything in life worth having is work. Any relationship is work, whether it is friendship, family or your lover.
I came across this article today – Is There Hope for the American Marriage?
It is an interesting tale of sociology and how marriage has changed. Essentially, the poor are trending towards having children out of wedlock and the rich are trending towards divorce after infidelity.
While this article may not be positive, I found it refreshing. Finally, an article about marriage that treats it as something more important than tabloid foder. Enough of the Jon and Kates already. Lets get excited about the prospect of marriage again. Lets celebrate the couples who love each other even when that love has to be a choice. Lets applaud the people who make the choice to stay and not stray.