Today was my biggest lose to date – 2 pounds! I’m really excited about this and feel like my body is starting to get into the zone. In total I have lost about 6.6 pounds. Sa-weet!
I can’t even explain how motivating this is for me and how amazing it feels seeing these goals become a reality. Now I’m only 2 pounds away from the Cinco de Mayo goal. I can see it, feel it, know that I’m going to reach it!
Today at the WW meeting we talked about Kirstie Alley’s appearance on Oprah. I didn’t get to watch the episode because of that pesky little thing known as “having a job.” Apparently, Alley went on Oprah yesterday and discussed how she has gained back all of the weight she lost from Jenny Craig. When her contract ran out, she stopped getting on the scale and started binge eating.
Jani J., my WW leader, said that although Alley swore she would get back in her bikini by November, there seems to be something missing from her quest to lose weight. Jani couldn’t put her finger on it, but said that maybe Alley hasn’t reached the point in the journey where she really gets it. The place where she understands that this is a lifetime journey, not a sprint to get back into a bikini, but a marathon to become a success story and stay a success story.
Personally, I feel like I am in a really good place when it comes to my journey. I make mistakes every week, sometimes every day, but am learning the tools to make those mistakes less frequent and to forgive myself easily. It has brought me such a sense of peace.
Credit has to go to Travis for this too. But first a short tale:
When I was dating the ex-boyfriend (not the only one, but the one whose name leaves a bitter taste in my mouth), I started to have the Hashimotos symptoms. I gained thirty pounds, was tired all the time, and would frequently have bouts of depression. I’m sure it wasn’t a picnic for him either, but what I’m about to tell you is the nasty part. After the ex cheated on me with a Chilli’s waitress, he took it upon himself to tell me that for us to get back together I needed to “slim down.” I was devastated by this. It hurt. Bad.
Instead of taking this as one of the many signs that I should have picked myself up and gotten the hell out of there, I decided to do as much as I could to lose weight. I ran – every day. I did the Atkins diet. I tried a lot of not healthy ways to get the weight off, but it wouldn’t budge. Finally, three years into college I was diagnosed. Light bulbs went off all over the place. The struggle to lose weight didn’t stop being there, but it lessened because mentally I started to know that this wasn’t my fault.
After seeing three different doctors, I got on some good meds, broke away from the ex for good, and lost about 15 pounds. Then came Australia and some tough times, but I figured it out. Unfortunately, my body didn’t like the Australian meds and I gained all the weight back. Oh – and I drank a lot in Australia. It was the culture. What was I supposed to do? Not drink all the amazing beer and wine? No way.
Back to Travis. He loves me the way I am. He has since the beginning. There are never any demands or stipulations for his love. He doesn’t care if I lose weight. He supports me in my quest, but I always know that even if I crash and burn he will be there telling me I am beautiful – putting me on that pedestal that I struggle to put myself on. I love him. I’d like to shout that from the rooftops (kind of like that credit card commercial) “I LOVE THIS MAN!”
****Side note: Coincidentally enough I ran into the ex today for the first time in probably over three years. He caught me off guard in a restaurant and asked how I am. My response was, “Really good.” What I think it should have been was “Two carats good, biotch*,” while I waved my left finger in his face. Boo-yah.
Sorry there is a biotch* theme today. I guess I’m the durtty bride for more reasons than one!
*As spelled by my friend Paul, a true master of all swear words and swear word modifications. Thanks to Amy for the clarification.