was a turning point in my life.
I had been in a bad relationship and when I say bad what I really mean is no-good, cheating with a waitress from Chilli’s bad, lying scumbag bad. A liar and an all around not-so-great guy who broke my heart and helped me get into a very, very bad emotional place. Plus, The Ex was really, really stupid. And dating stupid is exhausting.
When I moved to Australia, with as much as I had going for me, it was a very difficult time. I hit my quarter life crisis with enough baggage to make American Airlines jealous. It was tough, but I got through it, got some help and figured myself out. Realizing during this process that one relationship didn’t define me. I let the hurt go and finally knew that I deserved to be loved and I deserved to have a man in my life that respected me.
Fast forward December 2006.
I’m back home. I’ve got an amazing new job. I buy a house. I buy a car. And I’ve done it all-by-myself.
I love the time I get to spend by myself, but all my friends are coupled up, which makes socializing extra fun as I’m the fifth wheel at every occasion. I see my friends in drama free, healthy relationships. I think I might be ready to try my luck at dating again.
One problem – as much as I think my new job is going to send me into the arms of a young doctor, I find that I work in an office with almost all chicks. And I meet a few of the doctors. I find out they’re not my type to the disappointment of my mother.
I decide to try the world of online dating. I don’t tell many people because I can’t get over the creepiness of it. Including my family, who, to this day, think Travis and I met “through friends.” Well, I guess they will know now 😉
I sign up on cupid.com for 3 months. In that three months I go out on dates with guys that have no manners, who had questionable IQs and I actually have a conversation with a guy who wants to give me the rules for dating him. Ummm, no thanks.
I start thinking that maybe I don’t need to be dating. I figure I will wait until the end of the three months and call it good. Then I get an email from Travis, short and sweet, he thinks we have some things in common. We begin emailing each other and the next week we have our first date at Sushi Moto. BTW – that would be this week two years ago!
It is an easy date. He’s funny and easy to talk to. He also looks exactly the way he described himself on his cupid profile – those of you who have dated online will know what a relief this is. He has manners! We compare notes on the crazy people we have met through online dating. We have a good time, watch a bad movie at my house, and at the end of the date he tells me he is going to call me tomorrow and asks, would I like to have dinner with him again?
The Next Day
I call my friend Heather and tell her that I’ve found an import (a.k.a. a guy that isn’t from Reno).
It gets better – he makes me dinner, gives me flowers and the enchiladas that he makes knock my socks off. I think he used about 6 pounds of cheese (the true key to my heart).
We continue to see each other a couple of times a week. I’m guarded because I don’t want to get hurt again and am trying to convince myself that this wouldn’t/couldn’t/shouldn’t work. Finally, my friend Laurie asks, “So what’s wrong with him Jenny?” I’ve got nothing. Damn. She’s right.
My mom comes to visit and Travis comes to dinner with us. He is so kind and genuine with her I start to realize that this is a guy who is something special.
Travis goes to Colorado for a week to visit his family. I think I’m going to die and drown my sorrows in John Legend CD’s. I realize that I’ve got it and I’ve got it bad. I count the hours until his return. It couldn’t have taken any longer.
We go camping for the first time. It is a really fun trip and we exchange our first “I love you’s” while cramped inside Travis’s two man tent with the dog. FYI – Travis and I are not the size of people that two man tents were designed for.
Things are getting serious. We start talking about sharing space. His stuff starts to move into my house little by little.
I freak out. Maybe this cohabitation thing isn’t a good idea? Maybe my whole life is about to change? I like my life.
5 minutes later and a conversation with Travis
I realize this is what I want and the reason I love my life so much is that Travis is in it. And I want him in it a lot more.
We officially cohabitate. It takes some adjusting, but we figure out the annoying things about each other. Like I suck at laundry (and cleaning in general) and he has an affinity for leaving water bottles everywhere (and I do mean everywhere!).
The rest of 2007
We spend our first Christmas together at my parent’s place in Utah. It is a magical Christmas. We ski, we eat, we’re merry.
We take our first vacation together to the Caribbean. A week of sailing through the U.S. and British Virgin Islands and I start to know that this is the real deal. It is the best vacation I’ve ever had. I know that this guy likes adventures as much as I do and I crave more adventures with him. Besides one small hiccup in customs where I tried to convince Travis to smuggle sea shells, the trip is perfect. And yes, I know that smuggling agricultural products like sea shells is illegal and I also know that it isn’t nice to force someone to smuggle anything.
We had a great year together and it became more apparent that we were in this for the long haul. It became harder and harder to imagine ever being with anyone else or that anything that came before him mattered. And I started to feel like I wanted a family and I wanted it with Travis. We took a Halloween/Nevada Day trip to Shinneyboo Creek, another great adventure and very romantic!
After a more challenging Christmas trip than the 2007 trip (the families met one another, I became more certain that a supply of Xanax will be needed for future family visits), we came home to decompress from the trip. I have to say that one of my favorite memories comes from this time. We were both wiped out and after spending a few hours skiing we came home, got in bed, watched TV and ate Captain Crunch (the kind with Crunch Berries, of course) for the rest of the day. It felt like home. Our home.
January 3, 2009
Travis surprised me and proposed. You can read our engagement story here.
So that’s it in a rather large nutshell. This is our story. This is us.
What made me decide to go on this crazy diatribe? Last weekend Travis and I went and saw He’s Just Not That Into You and I left the movie theater with a sense of gratitude for the journey that brought me to him.