29

I’m 29 today. It’s weird to think that I am departing on the last year of the first decade of adulthood. Last month, I started thinking about it and I was so sad. It seems like the end of an era. So much has happened in the last 9 years.

Like:

• I had my heart broken.
• I made new friends.
• I lost friends. 9 years later I wish that I had tried harder.
• I climbed out of a hole and became myself again.
• I figured out that I was worth it.
• I realized how much I enjoy mojitos.
• I finished college.
• I moved to a foreign country.
• I figured out what made me happy.
• I had bad boss after bad boss.
• I found a mentor or two.
• I bought a house.
• I fell in love. Again. And it was so much better.
• I got scuba certified.
• I got engaged.
• I made more new friends. I realized that friendships are a journey.
• I traveled.
• I stuck up for myself.
• I found out I was pregnant after not knowing if it would be possible.
• I got married. Yes, in that order.
• I had a baby.
• I got more comfortable and confident in my job.
• I learned that being assertive doesn’t mean being a bitch.
• I learned that you don’t know love or vulnerability until you are a mother.

And so much more! It’s hard to reflect on these last 9 years and remember every pivotal moment because there have been so many!

After grieving a bit, I decided that I’m going to make this year count so I came up with 29 Goals for my 29th year. You can view my Pin Board with all of my goals here.

Henry – 10 Months

Dear Henry,

A couple of days ago you turned 10 months. I can hardly believe it. We’re getting ready to celebrate your first Christmas and I think Daddy and I are more excited about this than anyone else! We went absolutely overboard with your Christmas gifts, even though we know that you will most likely play with boxes, tissue paper and ribbon. We are taking you on your first long road trip this week. 8 hours to Grandma and Grandpa’s house in Park City. We know you are going to have a blast climbing the stairs and hanging out with Grandpa. He’s quickly becoming your favorite pal.

It’s hard to describe how the last 10 months of our lives have changed. You will never know the enormity of it until you hold your first born. Watching you grow and change is the most amazing gift. Your life has given our lives new meaning and a better appreciation for the world. You’re teaching us patience, how to love unconditionally and how to laugh and play again. Watching you explore is like living my childhood over again. EVERYTHING is new to you. EVERYTHING is worth exploring. EVERY person worth knowing. EVERY dog worth kissing.

You laugh so much and it is sublime to watch the laughter move through your entire body. How quickly we forget what it’s like to enjoy laughter that way.

You are attending daycare full time and you love it. I feel guilty that I can’t stay home with you, but every morning you greet your teachers and friends and get straight to playing. You play so hard that the teachers are having a hard time getting you to slow down and eat. You’ve quickly mastered the play gym and climb the stairs constantly. You have a whole group of friends and you crawl as fast as you can across the room. Yesterday night you took a few steps on your own. So exciting to watch you master one step after another!

Last month, we had you baptized. You were talking to your friend Lillian the entire time and handled the baptism like a champ. Your Godparents helped us throw you a party afterwards at their house. You had a good time hanging out with your friends, crawling around and eating crumbs.

All Dressed Up

You have 6 teeth and are eating everything in sight. You are no longer a fan of baby food. You want to eat what we eat and sometimes you will rip food right out of our hands. Your favorites right now include sweet potatoes, yogurt, lunch meat, cheerios and bananas. On Thanksgiving you ate an entire bowl of mashed potatoes, turkey and all the trimmings. You are slowly mastering the sippy cup.

Sleeping through the night is still something we are trying to master. Raising you has changed our understanding of what sleeping through the night means. As brand new parents we thought once you started sleeping long stretches that it would be smooth sailing. Turns out that is not the case at all. Some babies may sleep through the night early on. You are not one of them. It is getting better though. Most nights throughout the week you only get up once, usually around 4 a.m. Some nights you get up twice. You might be hungry or you might just want to cuddle. We are getting better at understanding which is which. You do give us some great nights of sleep occasionally. We are thankful for the reprieve. 6 hours of sleep is the new 8!

We love you so much and can’t believe how quickly this 10 months has gone. Soon we will be celebrating your first birthday and then you’ll be going to kindergarten and then you’ll be driving and then off to college. People told us how quickly this would go, but we truly had no idea until you arrived.

My "Little" Guy's Hand

Merry Christmas my little munchkin!
Love,

Mommy & Daddy

Houston, We Have a Biter

As with almost everything in my life, I stress about something and torment myself with all the horrible things that could happen and then life just works out and I’m not stressed anymore and I can breath/not obsess any further.

Breastfeeding would fall into this category.

I was so stressed and sad about quitting breast feeding and then life just worked out.

My baby has 6 teeth. They didn’t come in over night. He got his first two around 7 months and in the last two months four of his top teeth have come in. This didn’t cause any problems until his front teeth made the final descent  right around the nine month mark.

I had started to wean him in the eighth month so one evening I cuddled up with him for one of the few breastfeeding sessions that we were still having.

And he bit me!

I had read about this on BabyCenter and the advice given was to give a stern NO and then relatch the baby. So I tried that.

And he bit me. Two more times.

And then he LAUGHED in my face.

Do I need to describe the pain of having two dagger-like infant teeth bite your nipple?

I didn’t think so.

In that moment the guilt of not breastfeeding was gone. My sweet little, vulnerable baby is becoming a toddler. He’s eating table food, holding his own bottle and trying to scarf down any food he can rip out of our hands. Soon he will be walking and I realized that this phase of mothering my baby has passed.

And I’m ok with it. Really, really ok.

Fading Friendships

I opened my inbox the other day and saw an email from What to Expect with this subject line: Fading Friendships.

It was so timely. I saw two of my mommy friends last weekend and we sympathized with each other over friendships that seem to have taken a hiatus with the arrival of our little ones. Different priorities, lack of free time and lack of sleep have all contributed to a loss of friends that once were close to us.

I understand that friendships change. With or without babies involved, friendships change over time, but I’ve never experienced such a dramatic change during one period of my life.

The person who I would have called my best friend a year ago has never met my son.

The person who I was friends with, but not especially close to, was the first person there when we got home from the hospital with food and love and the desire to rock my baby while I took a second for myself. And, even after the home birth debacle, she listened enthusiastically without judgement to our birth story.

The friendship that I thought would suffer the most has grown stronger.

An acquaintance has become a confidant, a safe place for a good gut check and good laugh when I need it.

 

Motherhood can be a lonely place at times. It’s not a surprise that I now gravitate towards other moms. It’s not that I don’t want to continue to have relationships with my childless friends. It’s absolutely the opposite. I love them still, I cherish the memories that we’ve made together.

I find when I’m around my childless friends I censor myself from talking about my baby and all the things that come with that. Part of me thinks its a desperate attempt to make them think that I am the same person. “I’m still cool! I’m still interesting! I’m still a CAREER!” And part of me thinks it’s because they can’t possibly be interested in the mundane (but fabulous!) things about motherhood.

What to Expect tells me that this is normal. That such a dramatic change of lifestyle is destined to lead to changes in ALL of my relationships.

Perhaps, it’s no where near as prevalent as the change in my relationships with the women in my life.

Anybody else going through or been through this? Did these friendships ever become normal again?

 

Cool Stuff

A completely non-mommy post about things I am digging at this very moment.

1. Spotify.

Loving this music service. So much so that I’ve given up iTunes and am paying the $10/month. The thing I love the most is getting the chance to preview an entire album. Also, love discovering artists I’ve never heard of and goodies from my favorites.

Which brings me to…

2a. Ben Folds – The Best Imitation of Myself: A Retrospective.

Le sigh….

Ben Folds – J’adore.

I absolutely love this entire greatest hits-ish album by Mr. Folds. The track “Smoke,” which was recorded with the Western Australain Symphony Orchestra (WASO) is my fav. I missed seeing Ben Folds in Perth by a couple of months and that makes me so, so sad.

2b. Pistol Annies – Hell on Heels

Miranda Lambert has another band! Who knew? After finding this album, I couldn’t stop listening to it. It’s country, but kind of honky tonk, but kind of Dixie Chicks with more of an edge. The songs Hell on Heels, Trailer for Rent and Beige are so, so good. If I had the big bucks I’d head on down to Vegas on December 3 to see them in concert.

2c. Mayer Hawthorne – How Do You Do

This was one of the artists that popped up as being new on Spotify and I love it. Great music for a night on the couch with a glass of wine. Sounds like old, but new Motown.

3. Sons of Anarchy on FX

Oh Jax…what are you doing with this MC? And Clay you evil, evil bastard. The hubs and I have watched SOA for years now and this season is not disappointing. Last season was a bit Saved by the Bell Goes to Hawaii, with the whole let’s send the MC to Ireland plot, but this season is bringing it back to that edge of your seat drama that the first two seasons were known for. I can hardly wait for Tuesday nights.

4. Paying off debt.

In a previous post I mentioned how we’ve been following Dave Ramsey and paying off some serious debt. We aren’t debt free yet, but I can’t shout from the mountain tops loud enough how fantastic it feels to have so many bills paid off and how much this has helped to simplify my life. Not worrying about so many bills is nice motivation to stay the course and get this crap paid off.

5. Meaningful Beauty

I used my splurge spending money and signed up for the Meaningful Beauty line of skincare. A co-worker recommended it and she was right. This stuff is good. Not to go all infomercial on you, but my skin really does look more even and bright.

6. Spinning

A few years ago I was a spinning fool and sometimes would hit 4 spinning classes in one week. Recently, I’ve started going to spinning classes again and I remember that I really, really love them. With limited sleep, spinning doesn’t require a lot of coordination. It feels good to get the heart pumping.